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Exploring Regional Relationships

What a pleasure it is to have a consummation of our relationship with the first of a series of articles entitled KarryOn Caribbean.

As with any relationship, its shape is a reflection of the people involved. With that being said, have you ever taken time to consider, some of our relationship dynamics in the region? Well if you have, you will probably find this article registers very quickly, either because you too might have observed the trends or beg to disagree. If not, then it would hopefully, tickle your thoughts. Whatever your initial response, it is hoped that this exploratory article will be beneficially entertaining.

Our beautiful islands of the Caribbean share a history which valued forced productivity. As such the more people to produce the better and people were to be where the need for productivity was highest. Hence men would move as guided by the overseers in the best interest of productivity. It only made sense then that one man would be plentiful productive not only on the land but also in the home.

Now fast-forward eons later. Caribbean males have become associated with terms such as ‘macho’ some aspect of which speaks to their propensity for continued productivity both at home and work. We have the fairly young double-digit dad, the simultaneous two-householder guy and the sequential two-householder guy.

You might be wondering, where exactly we are going with this. Well it is simply this, firstly so often we forget that current relationship patterns can be unearthed in the rudiments of the past. And it is therefore in appreciating the past, our history that we can appreciate and accept the present for what it is. No judgement simply acceptance. Secondly, this then frees us up, to consider if we wish our present to be our next past someday. If yes, then fantastic, we know how our relationship patterns came to be, we accept and continue along. If no, then we can now use our understanding, to be sensitive to the challenges that will confront us if we desire new relationship patterns. When we consider our challenges realistically, then we can develop a realistic practical action plan for changing relationship patterns and creating the type of relationship we desire in the future. Just to give an example, a challenge based on our history might be the cultural belief that ‘it is only being realistic to expect male infidelity.’ Now, if you are okay with this then great. If not, then it is for you, male and/or female, to decide how you would want to proceed. Bottom line is this … yes we exist in a broader communal culture that has undeniable impacts on our relationship patterns. Yet it remains for you and your partner or partners as the case might be, to create the relationship you desire. So are you crafting your relationship … or are the cultural waves doing so for you.

Your relationship … your choice!

Would not want to overwhelm on our first official meeting, looking forward to meeting with you again, same time same place, until then KarryOn Caribbean carry on.


Kerriann Toby holds a Master of Counselling and Bachelor of Psychology. She is a dynamic therapist, trained mediator; and educator since 2000. In addition to being a trained educator, mediator and therapist, she is a certified Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) Professional. Kerriann has also trained in cybercounselling and holds clinical registration with Employee Assistance Professionals Association (EAPA) & Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association (CCPA). Read more....

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